Feel The Fear, And Do It Anyway

Close your eyes, and imagine you're weightless. A warm light emanates from within, grounding you to the roots of the earth beneath you. You are safe, and free to be with what you truly feel and desire.

Free of judgment, your thoughts pass above you as clouds--silently, swiftly, and with ease.

It is in this space that you find solace from the constant whirring of the outside world. It is here that the real work may begin, if your ultimate goal is to live a happy life. 

One of the most powerful things I've ever heard from a stranger is that You are not your thoughts. This was one of those ground-breaking epiphanies that typically reach you in a deep sleep, but I was wide awake, fully alert, and just as baffled. If I am not my thoughts, I thought, then who am I? Up until this point, I had labeled myself "crazy," "judgmental," "masochistic," and "anti-social." These thoughts, these judgments on myself, had been burned into my memory from a very young age. With repetition and false evidence from the external world, they were my normal, my rationale as to why things happened to me. 

It was earth-shattering to be told that thoughts were things external from my identity. It left me with a new void that I was anxious to fill. I needed an answer--so I did what any sane Millennial would do in this case. I googled "How to find yourself," and received answers in the form of blog posts, articles, and YouTube videos from self-proclaimed experts on identity. What none of these so-called "experts" seemed to understand was that the answer to the question of identity is not a simple one, nor can it be told to you from an external source. 

Only you know you, and if you are not your thoughts, then the answer must come from the absence of thought. 

And so, I embarked on my journey to the absence of thought. A journey that I thought would take a year, maybe two, max, but now I'm convinced that it will never truly end. Which means that I have time to figure it out, to get to know myself. It means that the Rolling Stones had it right--time is on my side. 

I am excited to explore myself, and to find meaning and peace within this new void. I invite you to do the same, and to not be discouraged by the inevitable fear you will feel when doing so. I hope to provide you some guidance as you watch me do what I have invited you to do, so that we may both live our happiest life. 

Nelson Mandela once said, "I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." In other words, the key to courage lies in vulnerability--and I think vulnerability can save us all.

Thank you dearly for reading my words, and joining me on this journey. I hope you find the light within yourself to grant your wildest dreams.


Until next time,

Shannon